Those of you who read my earlier post Why I Talk to Everyone will remember that I said that I was going to write more in depth about making connections and forming mini relationships quickly. Most people think that some people are born with the ability to meet people and make new friends and that some aren’t. I believe that to a point, in that some people have a natural inclination towards social exchanges and some do not, but I also believe that successful social exchanges take a learned skill.

You have all heard the saying, “It’s not what you know, but WHO you know that counts.” This couldn’t be more true than in an entrepreneur’s world. Malcolm Gladwell speaks to this idea in his book, The Tipping Point. He says, “Acquaintances (not good friends) represent a source of social power, and the more acquaintances you have the more powerful you are.” He discounts the importance of your best friends in serving business needs by saying that they occupy the same spheres of influence that you are do. “Weak ties,” on the other hand, allow you access to social groups, business contacts, and opportunities (not to mention dates) that you never would have had with your group of close friends.

Now you know why it is in your best interest to be friendly and make friends and contacts wherever you go, and I’d like to give you some practical ideas of how to combat your fears in these types of situations. First, take action. Action Cures Fear! If you are terrified of starting conversations with people, then go out right now and say….something, anything. It doesn’t matter how you start, just say something. Sometimes people will grunt at you so you just move along, and sometimes you’ll meet people who just open up.

The best way I’ve found to break the ice is to ask them about something they own, be it the watch on the wrist or the car they are driving. Everyone like to talk about themselves and their stuff. Get people talking about themselves and they’ll love you! Once you’re in conversation, it’s pretty easy to transition with questions like, “do you work around here?” or “what do you do for a living?” or something along those lines. You never know when you’ll meet your next business partner, customer, or best friend!

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I have made it a habit of being friendly to everyone I come in contact with on a daily basis, and I think you should as well. It’s not the most comfortable thing in the world to start a conversation with a total stranger, but if you don’t, you will potentially miss 100’s or even 1000’s of opportunities. Plus, once you get over your fear and just do it, you’ll have a great time making connections and building relationships with people all over town! I’ll get into this topic more in another post, but I thought I’d tell you about two recent conversations I had that may turn into something more!

First, I was at lunch with my dad yesterday when he saw an old friend and started chatting. So I, not wanting to stand there idly, started speaking with his wife, who I knew to be somewhat of an entrepreneur. We immediately hit it off and were engrossed in a business discussion when she mentioned her next idea for a venture. I won’t get into the details of it at this point, but I believe I may have found my next business partner! Just because I decided to be friendly. This also give me the opportunity to get into an industry and a niche that I never would have gotten into before.

Second, last night, when I was at Twist getting desert with my wife and some of our best friends, I noticed the man at the next table wearing a Breitling watch, the EXACT watch that I want. As you can imagine, I was a bit nervous to talk to this guy who looked to be mid to late thirties, was spending $300+ on dinner (I’ve never seen 4 people with so much sushi in my life) and obviously able to afford an $18,000 watch! Well, as we were finishing up, I asked him about his watch, and wouldn’t you know it, he opened right up! So 30 minutes later I have formed a mini friendship with Tony, the owner of the largest web hosting company in Atlanta! I got his contact info and I plan to hound him until he agrees to let me buy him lunch! It’s clear he has expensive taste, so it might cost me $100, but that is a small price to pay to get an hour with a man who built a $280 Million business from the ground up!

I hope this has been helpful to some of you, and I want you to know that my goal with my writing is to engage, equip, and empower other young entrepreneurs. With that in mind, I plan to author a few more posts regarding networking. These will include the details of how I’m meeting 10-15 new people every week and some ideas on how to get over the fears associated with starting conversations with complete strangers! Let me know if this is something you would be interested in, and let me know if there are any other topics you’d like covered! See ya!

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